Some wit in parliamentary debates makes them more robust. Let’s not take ourselves too seriously
Earlier this week, I was making a speech in Parliament on the “state of the country’s economy”. I was comparing the Union government’s progress on economic parameters with that of my state — West Bengal. Serious economic data was being tabled when the Chairman of the House playfully interrupted: “It is because you had a good governor for three years”. He, of course, was referring to himself! With tongue firmly in cheek I retorted, “Let me confirm, sir, that is the only reason all this (progress) happened in Bengal”. We all had a good laugh — the Treasury and Opposition benches together. The debate progressed robustly.
In the cutthroat political colosseum, let’s bring back some wit into Parliamentary debates. We have our differences, but let’s not take ourselves too seriously. Nothing like friendly banter to cool off a heated exchange. Here are some other nuggets of humour that have occurred in Parliament over the years. Enjoy.
One of the wittiest members was the rotund Piloo Mody who, on disagreeing with a minister’s speech, stood up and showed his back to him. The minister complained to the presiding officer, who asked for an explanation. Mody replied: “Mr Speaker Sir, I have no front, no back, no flanks. I am round all over. So how could I have shown my back to the minister?” The House exploded in laughter.
Madhavrao Scindia responded to the Railway Budget by commenting on the Janata government’s performance with “There is a well-known saying that you can fool some people all the time and you can fool all the people some of the time…” Parvathaneni Upendra quickly jumped in to say, “As you are doing now!” Perhaps a bit prematurely, as Scindia continued his remark, “but you cannot fool all the people all the time, and the Janata Party learnt this the hard way.”
Once, legendary socialist leader Ram Manohar Lohia told the House that Nehru wasn’t an aristocratic as was portrayed. “I can prove that the Prime Minister’s grandfather was a chaprasi in the Mughal court,” Lohia said. To which, Nehru smiled and replied: “I am glad the honourable member has at last accepted what I have been trying to tell him for so many years: that I am a man of the people!”
Prime Minister Nehru was on the receiving end as well. In 1962, on telling Parliament that the China-occupied Aksai Chin was an area where “not a blade of grass grows”, Mahavir Tyagi, a senior Congress MP, pointed to his own bald pate and exclaimed: “Not a hair grows on my head. Does it mean I cut it off and give it to China too?” The laughter eased the tense situation in the House.
When Tathagata Satpathy, member from Dhenkanal, was participating in the discussion on the Indian Economic Council Management Bill, 2012 in May of that year, the Chairman interrupted him and this is what followed. Satpathy: “Sir, do you not want me to speak?” Chairman: “You speak, but you have to be short.” Satpathy: “Sir, I am very short. I would like to be actually six feet and two inches, but I am very short!” Fun.
While speaking on the need to set up an inquiry against persons in high authority who have allegations against them, Bhupesh Gupta of the CPI was interrupted by Biju Patnaik of the BJD. Gupta responded by saying: “Mr Biju Patnaik is a pastmaster. He himself has been the subject of so many commissions of inquiry. He should not be afraid of it. He is the man who has faced commissions of inquiry like a soldier in the Second World War. For him, a commission of inquiry means elevation to the Union Cabinet.”
Speaking on the Appropriation Bill, K P Mohanan of the Loktantrik Janata Dal stated, “I am approaching the whole situation from the point of view of a layman.” His statement was met by West Bengal MP Nirmal Chatterjee’s snark, who said, “That is the definition of a Member of Parliament.”
M P Kaushik was speaking on the Indira Gandhi National Open University Bill when the timer bell rang. Kaushik requested an extension of three minutes from the Deputy Chairman saying, “This bell gives a complete full stop, not even a semicolon.” The Chair retorted, “I wish it has the same effect on everyone. For some people, it acts as an incentive.”
PS: The “Wit and Humour” page on the Rajya Sabha website reads “Feature under Development”. Now this is not funny!
[This article was also published in The Indian Express | Friday, December 08, 2023]