Earlier this week, I was making a speech in Parliament on the \u201cstate of the country\u2019s economy\u201d. I was comparing the Union government\u2019s progress on economic parameters with that of my state \u2014 West Bengal. Serious economic data was being tabled when the Chairman of the House playfully interrupted: \u201cIt is because you had a good governor for three years\u201d. He, of course, was referring to himself! With tongue firmly in cheek I retorted, \u201cLet me confirm, sir, that is the only reason all this (progress) happened in Bengal\u201d. We all had a good laugh \u2014 the Treasury and Opposition benches together. The debate progressed robustly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In the cutthroat political colosseum, let\u2019s bring back some wit into Parliamentary debates. We have our differences, but let\u2019s not take ourselves too seriously. Nothing like friendly banter to cool off a heated exchange. Here are some other nuggets of humour that have occurred in Parliament over the years. Enjoy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One of the wittiest members was the rotund Piloo Mody who, on disagreeing with a minister\u2019s speech, stood up and showed his back to him. The minister complained to the presiding officer, who asked for an explanation. Mody replied: \u201cMr Speaker Sir, I have no front, no back, no flanks. I am round all over. So how could I have shown my back to the minister?\u201d The House exploded in laughter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Madhavrao Scindia responded to the Railway Budget by commenting on the Janata government\u2019s performance with \u201cThere is a well-known saying that you can fool some people all the time and you can fool all the people some of the time\u2026\u201d Parvathaneni Upendra quickly jumped in to say, \u201cAs you are doing now!\u201d Perhaps a bit prematurely, as Scindia continued his remark, \u201cbut you cannot fool all the people all the time, and the Janata Party learnt this the hard way.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Once, legendary socialist leader Ram Manohar Lohia told the House that Nehru wasn\u2019t an aristocratic as was portrayed. \u201cI can prove that the Prime Minister\u2019s grandfather was a chaprasi in the Mughal court,\u201d Lohia said. To which, Nehru smiled and replied: \u201cI am glad the honourable member has at last accepted what I have been trying to tell him for so many years: that I am a man of the people!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Prime Minister Nehru was on the receiving end as well. In 1962, on telling Parliament that the China-occupied Aksai Chin was an area where \u201cnot a blade of grass grows\u201d, Mahavir Tyagi, a senior Congress MP, pointed to his own bald pate and exclaimed: \u201cNot a hair grows on my head. Does it mean I cut it off and give it to China too?\u201d The laughter eased the tense situation in the House.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When Tathagata Satpathy, member from Dhenkanal, was participating in the discussion on the Indian Economic Council Management Bill, 2012 in May of that year, the Chairman interrupted him and this is what followed. Satpathy: \u201cSir, do you not want me to speak?\u201d Chairman: \u201cYou speak, but you have to be short.\u201d Satpathy: \u201cSir, I am very short. I would like to be actually six feet and two inches, but I am very short!\u201d Fun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
While speaking on the need to set up an inquiry against persons in high authority who have allegations against them, Bhupesh Gupta of the CPI was interrupted by Biju Patnaik of the BJD. Gupta responded by saying: \u201cMr Biju Patnaik is a pastmaster. He himself has been the subject of so many commissions of inquiry. He should not be afraid of it. He is the man who has faced commissions of inquiry like a soldier in the Second World War. For him, a commission of inquiry means elevation to the Union Cabinet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Speaking on the Appropriation Bill, K P Mohanan of the Loktantrik\u00a0Janata Dal\u00a0stated, \u201cI am approaching the whole situation from the point of view of a layman.\u201d His statement was met by West Bengal MP Nirmal Chatterjee\u2019s snark, who said, \u201cThat is the definition of a Member of Parliament.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
M P Kaushik was speaking on the Indira Gandhi National Open University Bill when the timer bell rang. Kaushik requested an extension of three minutes from the Deputy Chairman saying, \u201cThis bell gives a complete full stop, not even a semicolon.\u201d The Chair retorted, \u201cI wish it has the same effect on everyone. For some people, it acts as an incentive.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
PS: The \u201cWit and Humour\u201d page on the\u00a0Rajya Sabha\u00a0website reads \u201cFeature under Development\u201d. Now this is not funny!<\/p>\n\n\n\n